Taking my shot at describing, capturing for future, further access, what I learned this week—whether I really understood it, or not.
week 01, 2013
scaffolding city shot 207
 this is totally normal
I know: it feels huge. Overwhelming. Hard. Annoying.
It should be EASIER.
But, it's normal. Starting something, sticking to a plan, making a true change in how things work, enlisting others, even communicating what seemed so basic with others—not easy. That's normal.
Easy is a repeat of what you already know how to do. Easy is when someone else does it for you before you think of it.
The thing is, there's an element of new in EVERYTHING. Sometimes it doesn't figure that largely in your view of it, the new. Maybe you're ignoring the new, not interested, or unable to perceive it. Maybe it's just not having that big of an impact on you. This sunrise vs. yesterday's. You didn't notice the differences. They're still there.
And, you won't know until you're in it when they are going to have an IMPACT, the differences. When they're going to stop you in tracks, in the track of your expectations and what you believe you can control.
It's not philosophical and separate from experience: every moment, situation, is essentially new. And ease is typically characterized by familiarity, fitting in with what's already in place, adding to it maybe, but showing up neatly, manageably.
Not requiring effort, or stretch, or a shift in your expectations, an expansion of your acceptance, your capacity to engage, interact, feel, do.
It's normal to continually find yourself overwhelmed, frustrated, stuck, annoyed—if you're expecting, only open to, the same and the easy...
What's normal is contingent on how you define easy, or how much you need it to be that way.
Is the work, the effort, to participate in what is really too much?
 find your feet
Where are you standing?
- In what landscape?
- On whose shoulders?
- On whose neck—in whose way?
- In whose service?
- Facing what direction?
- Feeling what weather on your skin?
- From which direction does the wind touch you? And, how strong is it?
- What's the ground like?
- What shoes are you wearing?
- What are you carrying?
 what's not surprising about building process
I am continually surprised (and then not) at how many tries it takes for anyone to follow a process.
So much repetition and patience and reviewing what worked, what didn't. Details. Teeny tiny details. Over and over...
The good thing (and I often forget this) is that both parts are a good thing -- that we strive for (and actually can) implement processes AND that we don't come to it easily. Humans are just not binary, not robots or wind-up toys. We can't be switched on and off, and that's it.
It's not just that, like a wind-up toy, we need to be wound up over and over. It's that we're living it.
And living, even the small, boring stuff, is a continually creative act.