week-end report, week 02, 2013

Taking my shot at describing, capturing for future, further access, what I learned this week—whether I really understood it, or not.

week 02, 2013
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[1] you can't tell when things will come together

You can't tell when things will come together.

I'm not saying they always will. come together.
But you can't tell when they will.

So keep going.
Until you're really
really
ready
READY
to stop.


To give up.
Or let go.
To decide to move on.

[2] some days I feel the weight of every decision I've ever made

or have not made. Some days the weight of it all is practically flattening. How did I get here, and how will I hold it all? You'd think it's something huge like running a make-shift hospital in a jungle somewhere. It's way less life-and-death and much much more comfortable. Still. An exhausting amount of...of decisions, people, wants, beliefs, mistakes, conflicts, fantasies, promises and assumptions.

To hold it all—because for some reason, I can't stop wanting to hold it all—it would have to be solid. Solid and compacted into a shape that somehow fit in my hands. Even if that was possible, it would be heavy. Impossibly heavy.

[3] like water

Since it already is, more like water than a brick, just let it run through your hands, over and between your fingers. Let it go.

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week-end report, scaffolding city