if you want water

if you want water, dig a well and dig it deep.

Michel said that to me, several years ago. Apropos nothing. We had just met. Apropos everything it turns out. continues.

if you want water, dig a well and dig it deep.

I thought he meant commitment, decision.

Decide. to stay.

You can't take it lightly. Just see how it goes. You have to be. all in.

if you want water.

Whatever it is that you're seeking. What you're going for. For that, decide. to show up. Commit. Stop hesitating in between beats. Don't save anything for later, for the right thing. right moment. right reason. or person.

Right here. where you are. commit.

That's what I thought he meant. And I still think it was.

The other day, I rolled out a new yoga mat, wrote my name along an edge, and waited for inspiration. I have to write something else. It can't just be my name. Something that I'll want to see each time I roll it out.

It's been weeks since I practiced, months really. I stopped tracking, so I can't be sure, but I think it's been a couple of years since I really practiced. Anyway, I had to write something. 

The last mat, the one I lost track of —  what did it say? If you want water, dig a well and dig it deep. It was there, along the edge, every time I came to the mat.

And now? 

If I don't wait. If I don't try to come up with the next thing, the right thing, if I start right here — it's,

it becomes 

what it is, already is — 

I wrote it again. let it dry for a bit, and prepared to practice.

if you want water, dig a well and dig it deep.

Because it's also about the well,

and building it

if you want