I think that's what's next: to just stop trying.
Because it feels like trying is more about wanting it to be different, the experience, your performance, what someone else gives you, does, or expects of you. You want that to change, and then you'll go forward.
Trying isn't doing.
It's not being
here. In it. In the experience that is happening,
of your wants, needs, fears.
So, how about you stop?
Don't think about it, don't rationalize, don't worry about what you did, or didn't, do so far, do not do anything to this. Just right here - now, stop trying.
Exactly here, as is.
I know. That's saying a lot. I mean all of it.
100% as is: with all of its implications, baggage and uncertainty. Everything you'd like to avoid, fix, or remove from reality or from memory... Really, I mean exactly here: as is.