more than I can hold

A year ago, around this time, I came across the Four Sufi Gates of Speech...

—is it honest?
—is it necessary?
—is it the right time? 
—is it kind?

It really struck me. Brilliant. These are the criteria for worthy communication. Anything less, why do it? What good would come of it? 

I sent it out to my entire address book and posted it online. And—

And soon after, I forgot all about it.

2012 is almost over.

No doubt, there's more [much more] that I experienced, learned, was affected by—and have since forgotten this year.

I'm not going to list them, to try to find them and list them.

Wish I could, actually. Wish I had a way of picking them all back up again. It'd be great if our experiences [what they teach us, what they meant to us at the time] really stuck with us, or at least were easily retrieved when we lost track of them.

But, there is just so MUCH.
I don't know about you, but my days are full like months.

There are so many people, moments, ideas, problems, emotions, tasks, relationships.  

More than I can hold.

So, I'm considering stepping back and picking up just this one—the gates of speech.

Because if I could live by them, and I mean with an ease, not as rules, rigid, testing, just air brushing past.

Light like that. Without trying, without try-ing to get it right

If I could do that, that'd be something. That'd be worthwhile. Worth the work, the attention and effort it would take to even remember that I wanted to change my m.o., much less actually, truly, from the inside out, change it...

That would be something. And, in the way that everything is related, everything is indicative, everything is practice and a mirror for everything else—this picking of one thing, this one practice could hold all the others.

And I could stop trying.

[We'll see.]

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